Friday, June 01, 2007

I'm Just Saying

I hate that I’m 22 and still afraid of growing up. I hate that I still refer to being an adult as growing up. I hate that I have absolutely how to be an adult.

I dislike that it’s very hard for me to end things with a friend I no longer trust and with whom I have a cycle of growing and waning resentment. I dislike the fact that I feel a lot of unresolved and unspecified anxiety. I dislike that I don’t photograph well.

I like that I am probably not a stereotype. I like that I am intellectually curious. I like that I am not narrow minded. I like that I am probably not boring.

I don’t know that I love anything about myself.

Please, no pep talk, just… yeah. I don't need anything positive or supportive, just stating things.

In other news, watching Life on Mars, and enjoying it immensely. A police officer is involved in an accident, and wakes up in 1973. He has no idea what’s going on, no one else seems to think that anything is going on. I admit my favorite parts are the music and the protagonist’s emotional and psychological deterioration.

Also, can you believe that a year has passed since this post?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I dislike that I don't photograph well either. It makes me wonder if my perception of myself is distorted because I never see myself the way I appear on the camera. I'm sorry I started a little talk with myself here but I read that sentence and completely related to it :)

Touché said...

Fear, like, dislike and among other emotions is just part of growing up. You only live it once and shall always grow up from day to day while evolving your skills and attitudes. Been there, done that and had my share. You pass it by and one day you just take a look back and everything is more vivid. It's nature of life. Enjoy it while it last.

Anonymous said...

I like what you're saying.